Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

New Dance Craze: Flight Attendants Do the Safety Briefing

A little Tuesday morning fun from YouTube:



(If the video does not play or display properly above, click here to view it on YouTube.)

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Video spoof of airline 'buy-on-board' amenities

We all know that, in recent times, airlines have been cutting back on amenities offered in the passenger cabins. Meals, beverages, snacks, pillows, blankets, magazines -- you name it! -- either it no longer exists, especially in the economy section, or else flight attendants are now tasked with offering these items for sale, or collecting fees from passengers for their use.

How far will this practice go? Which items will be charged for next? This MADtv video presents the extreme case. Let's hope it never comes to this:



(If the video does not play or display properly above, click here to view it on YouTube.)

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Pick-up lines flight attendants hear

Southwest Airlines logoHow about something a little more light-hearted than our usual fare of cabin safety news and flight attendant labor issues: I noticed an entertaining article posted to Nuts About Southwest, the official blog of Southwest Airlines. It was written by a Carole Adams, a Dallas-based flight attendant.

Ms. Adams wrote Drop Me a Line, a collection of pick-up lines heard by flight attendants. Here's a sample of the pick-up lines on her list:

“You have to know CPR because you take my breath away.”

“I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by you!”

“If I borrowed your glasses, could I see you tomorrow night?”

“Congratulations, you’ve just been voted the most beautiful Flight Attendant. I’m your prize!”
Okay, stop rolling your eyes. I know they're groaners, but I think that's the point.!

There are others on that post, and still more contributed by readers in the Comments section at the end of the post. Go and have a look at Drop Me a Line. Go ahead and add your favorite (or least favorite!) pick-up line to the list -- there, or here.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Flight Attendant: No longer a 'sexy' occupation?

Flight AttendantLong-time readers of Cabin Crew News may recall a piece last year called Being a flight attendant is sexy. In that post I reported on a survey that listed the "10 Sexiest Job Titles." In that survey, 'Flight Attendant' was number five on the list.

Well, now we learn that a company called Salary.com has carried out a similar survey. When they did so in 2005, 'Flight Attendant' was number two on the list, but according to an article about the 2008 survey outcome in the Boston Globe, 'Flight Attendant' did not even make the top ten list of sexy job titles this time. Tsk tsk.

In the Salary.com surveys, 'Firefighter' was the sexiest job title in both 2005 and 2008, but in the 2008 results, 'Personal Trainer' replaced 'Flight Attendant' for 2nd place. (What?!) The third sexiest job title in both 2005 and 2008 was 'Chief Executive." No word on whether that referred to airline CEOs, however.

Friday, August 31, 2007

You know you're a flight attendant if...

This list came to me as an email pass-around, and to be honest, it's the second or third time I've seen it. Nevertheless, I thought it would be fun to post here. I wonder which of these would seem mysterious to people outside of aviation? Probably the same ones that make flight attendants laugh the most!

You know you're a flight attendant if...........

  • You never unpack
  • You look to the ceiling when your doorbell chimes
  • You wish you had jet engines mounted in your bedroom so you could fall asleep faster
  • You don't ever write a full city name (and it bugs your non-aviation friends): DTW MCO FCO BOM
  • You get excited over certain types of ice
  • You silently curse every Bose headset-wearing dude -- ("Yes, the electronic device announcement means you, sir.")
  • You know how to look fresh in 5 day old clothes
  • No matter how many times you clean out your suitcase you still find ancient hidden treasures in there
  • You HATE boarding
  • You LOVE deplaning
  • You have figured out that turbulence is not caused by clouds but by the initial movement of all meal carts
  • You can't believe that people let their babies and toddlers play on the floor of the aircraft cabin -- ewww, nasty
  • You remember the passengers with great manners (that's sad)
  • You can't remember when UM's actually became bigger than you
  • You love foreigners because they can't adequately complain in English
  • You have to turn your head when you see a passenger in stocking feet enter a lavatory
  • You secretly cheer when another flight attendant has to deal with the medical emergency
  • You HATE on board duty free
  • You can't stand the frequent flyer who says "I fly more than you..." (yeah, right)
  • You hate running into your passengers at your layover hotel
  • Blankety-blank tray stackers!
  • You hate when the heavy drinkers start flirting and calling you by name
  • You long for the days when it was easy to rig the TV for free movies
  • You want to smack the nail clipping -- finger nail polishing -- nose picking -- snoring passengers
  • You want no passengers talking to you while you are non-revving
  • Even when you are not working a flight, you travel in uniform for the liquids, creams and gels exemption
  • If passengers can't find the flush to the toilet -- they should stay in there till they do!
  • You wish you had a button to press that would announce, "No I don't have a pen"
  • You are excited to find a can of different soda that is not supposed to be on your airline
  • You could scream when people use an empty seat to change their baby's diaper, and don't even put a blanket underneath the little one -- worse yet, they ask if they can change the baby on the floor of the galley!
  • You know a meaning for "crop-dusting" that has nothing to do with agriculture
  • You cruise the aircraft after all the passengers have deplaned to find the discarded magazines and paperback novels before the cleaners get them
  • You can spot the cover of a new crossword or sudoku book on an airport newsstand rack from 50 feet away
  • You hate early morning departures -- Who in the hell HAS to fly at 6 AM?
  • You wish every airline manager actually WAS a flight attendant at one point in their life (this goes double for flight attendant supervisors)
  • You can't believe the senior F/A at your airline is in their 80's (doesn't matter what airline they all have them)
  • You try not to go to the bathroom on the plane but you sure can catch a good nap in there
  • You hate that passengers think they can hear you without taking off their headsets
  • You are glad there are no hidden cameras in the galley
  • Your non-aviation friends truly don't get the commuting part: "So you have to fly when and your trip starts where??"
  • YES, "Remain seated for the duration of our flight" DOES mean YOU
  • You can't figure out why your manager is not held accountable for the same things you are
  • Your jumpseat partner knows more about you than your spouse or life partner
  • You have at least 6 items of your own you could add to this list
  • You had a memory for all of these, and understood every one.
And you can identify with this Nicoderm Commercial:



If you have any more items to add to the list above, you're welcome to post them in the comments.

Happy landings!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

If Sesame Street ran an airline...

...would Grover be the flight attendant? (Silly, but cute.)



If the video does not play or display properly, you can see Sesame Street - Grover the flight attendant here on YouTube.

Tip of the hat to YouTube user sesamestreet66 for posting the video.

Friday, February 9, 2007

Being a flight attendant is sexy

Just in time for Valentine's Day: The Business Review, reporting on the results of a survey carried out by the online job search website Propelity.com, says that 'flight attendant' is one of the 10 sexiest jobs in the U.S. The survey was sent to 1,500 job seekers, employees and employers, with 1,075 responding. "Flight attendant' came out as the fifth-sexiest job on the list.

Here's the whole list:

  1. fireman
  2. chief executive
  3. interior designer
  4. doctor
  5. flight attendant
  6. police officer
  7. nurse
  8. teacher
  9. lawyer
  10. bartender & lawyer (tie)
What? Pilots didn't make the top ten list? What could it mean?

Friday, February 2, 2007

Video: Passenger safety briefing (Not!!)

This guy MUST have paid attention to the safety briefing at least a few times in order to have been able to create this.



So -- funny or annoying? What do you think??